me?!?

Now when I think of me
I think of somebody else instead

what do you do when emotion betrays you? cry your bleddy eyes out. sink into self-denial. sedate yourself with sleep. cross your fingers and toes and try to move on, scars and all. problem is, how can i move on without your assurance that things will change for the better? i've been living in my fantasy world for too long. far too long. perhaps i was being too hopeful. but what good can pessimism do? i'm confused. scared. haunted. the only other time i felt like this was in a dream. my worse nightmare in my 22 years of existence to be exact. now, i still feel like i'm stuck in a nightmare. i can't think straight. i feel detached from everything around me. i'm still trembling and finding myself close to tears thinking...