Caring for others
Till today, I realise that I dont have the ability to look after people. I start to notice that I seems to miss the point -- which is, to care for people. I am not sure how to care for people. Or should I say I dont know how. Simple things which normal people does really make myself reflect. There is a kind of saddness which I cannot describe. Am I like that all the while?
Today, I had a negative thought. I know deep within I should not have this thought however, until now, I am still having. And I am not saying it. No. This is just too negative of me. If someone were to ask me where I will be going my next live, I am quite sure I am going to hell. With such a un-compassionate, self centered, selfish or whatever, I really dont understand why I am still here. Haha, just a thought to compensate myself, I am here to make others stand out more like angels. I dont mind being the devil. Anyway, my path have been WRONG WRONG and WRONG. This is it. Nothing is going to change that point.. Nothing can be change.
AND here to remind myself yet again, KM, dont always think that people change already. Whoever you thought have change are still the same. It is YOU who change. KM, it's just all your fault. Dont question. Sometimes everything will be better off like this.
You do something good, no one is ever going to notice it. However, just one black shit, that's it. you get everything, blame, scoldings, insults, whatever whatever you can think of. Well, that's life. Nothing is fair.. Only the last breath you take before you die, everything is fair.
Today, met Bro. Yeo in centre. Chat with him for awhile and he seems to have tons of questions for me. And yes, I HATE it when you try to convince me that comparing is never going to work out. HELLO, ya maybe you are that kind soul out there who dont really compare but tell me, who dont compare now? Tell me who dont compare what food is nice? What colour is nice? This person is better then the other person? Her cooking better? She can manage better then her? TELL me now, who dont compare? You are not in my situation. You will never understand all the things I am going through. Even if you were to tell me that you are in similiar position (now or before), bear it, you can never understand how EXACTLY I am feeling. Simply because emotions are all different. Everyone define emotions different. For your anger, at the moment can be very angry. However, your anger as compare to mine might be average. So, dont judge me. I'm going through a "difficult" period now. EMOTIONALLY.
I am sorry. I now you are trying to help, trying to make me feel better. BUT it's not helping. What you have told me seems to be pouring salt to my wound. BACK OFF!
ARGH.. what... what now? someone help me please!! =( Where can I find genuine laughter and happiness??
Till today, I realise that I dont have the ability to look after people. I start to notice that I seems to miss the point -- which is, to care for people. I am not sure how to care for people. Or should I say I dont know how. Simple things which normal people does really make myself reflect. There is a kind of saddness which I cannot describe. Am I like that all the while?
Today, I had a negative thought. I know deep within I should not have this thought however, until now, I am still having. And I am not saying it. No. This is just too negative of me. If someone were to ask me where I will be going my next live, I am quite sure I am going to hell. With such a un-compassionate, self centered, selfish or whatever, I really dont understand why I am still here. Haha, just a thought to compensate myself, I am here to make others stand out more like angels. I dont mind being the devil. Anyway, my path have been WRONG WRONG and WRONG. This is it. Nothing is going to change that point.. Nothing can be change.
AND here to remind myself yet again, KM, dont always think that people change already. Whoever you thought have change are still the same. It is YOU who change. KM, it's just all your fault. Dont question. Sometimes everything will be better off like this.
You do something good, no one is ever going to notice it. However, just one black shit, that's it. you get everything, blame, scoldings, insults, whatever whatever you can think of. Well, that's life. Nothing is fair.. Only the last breath you take before you die, everything is fair.
Today, met Bro. Yeo in centre. Chat with him for awhile and he seems to have tons of questions for me. And yes, I HATE it when you try to convince me that comparing is never going to work out. HELLO, ya maybe you are that kind soul out there who dont really compare but tell me, who dont compare now? Tell me who dont compare what food is nice? What colour is nice? This person is better then the other person? Her cooking better? She can manage better then her? TELL me now, who dont compare? You are not in my situation. You will never understand all the things I am going through. Even if you were to tell me that you are in similiar position (now or before), bear it, you can never understand how EXACTLY I am feeling. Simply because emotions are all different. Everyone define emotions different. For your anger, at the moment can be very angry. However, your anger as compare to mine might be average. So, dont judge me. I'm going through a "difficult" period now. EMOTIONALLY.
I am sorry. I now you are trying to help, trying to make me feel better. BUT it's not helping. What you have told me seems to be pouring salt to my wound. BACK OFF!
ARGH.. what... what now? someone help me please!! =( Where can I find genuine laughter and happiness??
