Tell me what should I do? I felt that I have already lost myself. I lost the battle. I seems to lost everything. I cant recongnise KM. I dont know what is going wrong. I dont know why all this is happening. I want to be happy also. BUT... things went wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. I want people to hate me. I want people to dislike me. For that is what is already happening isnt it?

... ... I AM REALLY REALLY HURT THIS TIME. I FALL HARD AND IT IS PAINFUL. I AM NOT EVEN HEALING. ADVICES FROM ALL OF YOU ARE APPERICATED BUT AT THE MOMENT I CANT GET THEM INSIDE ME. THEY JUST COME ALL AT THE WRONG TIME. TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING. I AM LEFT HELPLESS AND DEEPLY HURT.... WHAT WENT WRONG?? :(