What a day..
Today is a very very bad day for me. So many thoughts. So suay! Everything went wrong until late evening. Money ah money.. tell me what to do with you. I cannot live without you completely. However, I refuse to have too much. This is rubbish. Yes.. MONEY, I really hate you to the core. I believe I will never love you.. Never!! You may have the ability to buy all the wonderful things in the world. However, one thing for sure, I will never let you buy me. I am going to make the effort to earn what I deserve..
Earn what I deserve.. Haha.. can someone tell me what do I deserve? My pay is pathetic.. Yet I am still there. Complaining over and over again.. Yet I am still there. Seriously, tell me, what is wrong? Something must be terribly wrong..
HH, I need you. I really need you like I always do.. I miss you so much.. Yet I cannot tell others about it.. because I dont wanna feel weak. I dont wanna give myself a chance to be weak. Yet, I am struggling.. Struggling real hard. I am not happy. I felt like the whole world is going to crush. Everything and everything just isnt helping. I dont ask for everyone's help.. simply because I dont need it. I wanna stop lying to myself.. However, it's the only way to keep myself standing strong and firm. Today, everything that I had hold on to is starting to fall off bit by bit.. I felt the urge to seek help.. To hide behind you. SO BADLY. I wanna cry but I know I am not suppose to cry in front of others. So, I have been fighting my tears hard and let them stay deep within.
HH, I have not been listening to you. I am sorry. But I am really tired.. My mind is so so so tired now. It's not rest I need.. but I need you to tell me what should I be doing. I seem lost. I am not a good person like what most people claims. Never is. What should I do now? I am so sick of everything.. What will happened if things really fall apart? I wanna hide behind you.. I need that right now.. so much so much.
HH, I cried for your attention.. Can you hear me? I am sorry for always casting my burden on your back.. because you are the only one I think of. HH, I am scared.. really scare. Please let me have the courage to walk all this over again. I know I need to go through all this, yet again..
Lama Chenno.....
Today is a very very bad day for me. So many thoughts. So suay! Everything went wrong until late evening. Money ah money.. tell me what to do with you. I cannot live without you completely. However, I refuse to have too much. This is rubbish. Yes.. MONEY, I really hate you to the core. I believe I will never love you.. Never!! You may have the ability to buy all the wonderful things in the world. However, one thing for sure, I will never let you buy me. I am going to make the effort to earn what I deserve..
Earn what I deserve.. Haha.. can someone tell me what do I deserve? My pay is pathetic.. Yet I am still there. Complaining over and over again.. Yet I am still there. Seriously, tell me, what is wrong? Something must be terribly wrong..
HH, I need you. I really need you like I always do.. I miss you so much.. Yet I cannot tell others about it.. because I dont wanna feel weak. I dont wanna give myself a chance to be weak. Yet, I am struggling.. Struggling real hard. I am not happy. I felt like the whole world is going to crush. Everything and everything just isnt helping. I dont ask for everyone's help.. simply because I dont need it. I wanna stop lying to myself.. However, it's the only way to keep myself standing strong and firm. Today, everything that I had hold on to is starting to fall off bit by bit.. I felt the urge to seek help.. To hide behind you. SO BADLY. I wanna cry but I know I am not suppose to cry in front of others. So, I have been fighting my tears hard and let them stay deep within.
HH, I have not been listening to you. I am sorry. But I am really tired.. My mind is so so so tired now. It's not rest I need.. but I need you to tell me what should I be doing. I seem lost. I am not a good person like what most people claims. Never is. What should I do now? I am so sick of everything.. What will happened if things really fall apart? I wanna hide behind you.. I need that right now.. so much so much.
HH, I cried for your attention.. Can you hear me? I am sorry for always casting my burden on your back.. because you are the only one I think of. HH, I am scared.. really scare. Please let me have the courage to walk all this over again. I know I need to go through all this, yet again..
Lama Chenno.....
